We just finished performing four shows in three days at Arizona State University. Every performance was stellar, even though we didn’t know what kind of venue we were walking into. Blackbox theatre. Banquet hall. Class room. And finally an outdoor stage. The first night was a black box theatre in Mesa, at the PolyTechnic campus. Even though it was the Final Four’s, final game, we had the place 60% full, mostly men, who were totally engaged throughout.
The World Grand Slam Champion Poet Ed Maybrey joined us on stage for two amazing poems. One is called Juno Se Mama, and it was the hit of the show. Watching Ed, I could see my own horizons expand for what was possible for my own performance. I thought I was good. Then I watched Ed. I had to follow Ed, and I now I realize—wow—I have a long ways to go to improve my own performance and material.
Our second night was the best of nights and the worst of nights. We performed to a 3/4 empty banquet hall filled with circular tables and part of the lighting was burnt out, leaving half of our faces in shadow. Fifty percent of the audience were freshmen and sophomore fraternity men, who “had” to be there to fulfill a fraternity requirement. While the performances were good from the whole cast, it was a hard space to connect with people with such intimate pieces. I had it all to do over again, I would have change the room around.
At first the frat guys scared me. I knew they didn’t want to be there and as Paul said, they walked in with an energy like they owned the place. Would our pieces land with them? Would they connect? Would we connect? Mostly, we did. And they were fairly present and with us during most of our pieces. I had to reach into my heart before my Tantra and For Linda pieces—and love them—exactly where and who they are. Because I knew if I couldn’t— because if I judged them (and I did catch myself judging them) or feared them—I would have nothing to offer them but my judgement. There was the elephant in the room. Frat = Rape, and it was a thick energy, nasty energy to overcome.
After the last piece, the show was about to come to a close, and I was about to open up the room for Q & A, get feedback and hopefully dialogue with the audience and cast, when it got de-railed. Here is an account that showed up after article was written about us in the State Press:
“I was appalled by the actions of (facilitator’s name) towards the group of “frat guys” who were attending the show. I thought they were singled out and scolded as if they were the ones responsible for the sexual crimes this performance was intended to prevent! One of the coordinators actually asked to give them a round of applause for attending and said that she hoped they would help protect and stand up for girls being assaulted…as if the whole performance was geared towards this specific group…I felt it was extremely disrespectful to these students who came out in good faith to see this performance. I felt those guys were treated very poorly and the actions of the coordinators caused them to just leave irritated instead of staying to have a dialogue, which they seemed receptive to until (facilitator’s name) began her grandstanding. Her comments seemed out of place and made me feel she missed the entire point of the content… in addition to the coordinators seemed to be trying to put out a fire created by 2 offended people, as opposed to letting the majority of the audience enjoy the performance and address their comments/issues afterwards like mature adults.”
Another woman from the audience asked the fraternity men, “Do any of you know where the erogenous zones of women are?” (referring to a piece we did in the show). I could see the boys collectively fold their arms. It was no longer a safe place for sharing. They were now a target.
As so were we.
One of our pieces is called The Puritan, written and acted by a woman who I completely respect. (Check it out and tell me what you think.) In a nutshell, it is a “vagina” doing a monologue on sanctity, personified as a Southern Belle in a pink dress. It is supposed to be comical with a message. The point of the piece is the vagina giving voice to how sacred it is and that it shouldn’t treated like a penis. Yet, for a few, this point came across as offensive. (CYA: The script was approved by the ASU university staff prior to the show and in the dozens of shows that we’ve done, we’ve never had this kind of reaction before.)
The radical interpretation and the critique of The Puritan from the facilitator and from several women at our show was that women were being portrayed as the sole gatekeepers of the vagina and they are the only ones responsible for saying no—and this relieves men of their responsibility and consequences of their actions. In rape, victims are often blamed. There was a strong feeling among a few women that the piece was reinforcing that fallacy and stereotype.
Of course, if I thought that is what the piece is about, it wouldn’t be in the show. However, because of the controversy, and the fact that ASU was paying us to do these shows to educated students, and not piss them off, I decided to err on the side of caution and remove it from line up on for the third performance. I also take a very close look at that piece and see if it can be altered so that this negative interpretation is removed. Two of the women most offended came up to me and told me their complaints about the show. I listened intently and gave them a card, and ask them to please send me an email with everything that was wrong with the show and that piece in particular, as they saw it. I do want to make the show challenging for the audience, but not in a way that inflammatory, or reinforcing of stereotypes.
Okay, back to the Frat men.
I loved those guys. I respected that they were there. And wanted to talk to them, but the controversy of one piece got displaced onto them. After about ten minutes of preaching and monologuing from the two facilitators, they got up and left. An opportunity was missed. But I do hope they took something away from the show. I think they did. I just don’t know what.
The third performance was awesome. It was at noon, in a class room, only one hour long. Short and sweet. We only had about 25 people there, but those who came were touched, moved and inspired. We needed it after that second performance.
Later that day, our final performance was held outside at a rally. Only about 10 men were there and a perhaps 100 women. We each delivered stellar performances, perhaps the best of all four shows, and it felt good.
There were times when I wondered if this was worth doing at all. The time, the controversy, the stress, but today, I feel proud and happy, and fulfilled.
Yes. It’s worth it. Next show is at NAU April 24 at 7:30.
